BE KIND

It is so easy to be kind when our lives are calm, we are well, our children are happy, our work is going well, and we feel good about ourselves. It is easy to be kind when people are kind to us first. The challenge is to be kind when tempers are wearing thin, when children are grumpy or ill, when headaches rage, when pressures are building at home or work, when dinner is burning (or non-existent), and when money is scarce.

Kindness is an attribute that grows from other basic traits: patience, warmth, generosity, love. And to “be” kind takes action, it takes effort, it takes work. What difference does kindness make in a life? What difference does it make in yours?

Leo Buscaglia said: “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind work, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring: all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Recently, I read a magazine article discussing how to avoid conflict. Since I really dislike conflict, I was highly interested in the topic! The author said that we should all remember the BIBS theory in dealing with other people and here is the story that illustrates this theory:

Imagine that you are trying to get to an important meeting and you are running late. You stop behind another car at a red light. You are waiting impatiently for the light to change, but when it does, the driver in the car in front of you doesn’t move. In fact, she gets outs of her car, opens the back door of her car and starts rooting around in the back seat. Of course, you miss the light.
How do you respond? Do you roll down your window and yell at the driver? Do you honk your horn impatiently? Do you just sit and curse quietly under breath and call her names?

What if you knew the reason for her actions? What if you knew that the reason she got out of her car and opened her back door was that her baby in the back seat was choking and she was clearing her airway so she could breathe? The acronym BIBS stands for “Baby In the Back Seat,” and the illustration is that everyone has something unknown happening in their lives that drives their actions. We don’t always know why people say and do the things they do, and since we don’t, it is important for us to respond with patience and kindness, giving them the benefit of the doubt that there is a reason behind what is happening.

In thinking about being kind, I also want to mention the importance of being kind to ourselves. We are sometimes harder on ourselves than anyone else, and while we will forgive others for huge indiscretions, find it difficult to forgive ourselves for the smallest mistakes. So while you are taking time, doing good deeds, saying kind things, giving the benefit of the doubt, and finding forgiveness, don’t leave yourself out of the loop!

LuWenn

"I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to somebody's pain made me blind; but I never have yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind."