Personal Accountability Attitude

Family to Family Network Leadership Message
April 22, 2008 By LuWenn Jones

Personal Accountability Attitude

“Your future depends on many things, but mostly yourself.”—Frank Tyger

“I always wondered why somebody didn’t do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.” ----Lily Tomlin


It is always wonderful when we can walk away from a situation (whether it is an event, a relationship, a meeting, or a conversation) knowing that we did our absolute best and it is someone else who is to blame for any problems that arose. I hope you are all laughing as you realize the fallacy in that sentence! Rarely do we get to walk away with our hindsight vision accurately reflecting that we are blameless in any situation. If we are honest with ourselves, we almost always recognize that we share the responsibility for challenges and problems that arise in our lives.

In a personal example, I have recently been forced (yes, forced!) to face some hard facts about some of my own personal weaknesses. Things that for years I have excused as being beyond my ability to control or realm of capability, I have finally decided to own and take upon my shoulders as being my responsibility. Whew! It’s amazing! What I thought were insurmountable challenges are actually amazingly doable now that I am living with them on my terms rather than shunning them as unwelcome parts of my life. These are not huge trials that I am struggling to overcome. They fall more into the category of chronic annoyances. Weight management. The money spending control button. The “I can’t say no to any worthy project” addiction. The “clutter grows out of nowhere” myth. I am working hard to stop saying—and more importantly, stop believing--things like:

It’s just the way I am—I can’t help it!
I have always believed this about myself, so it must be true.
If you want it done, do it yourself!
People don’t change, no matter what you do.

These little epiphanies about personal responsibility crystallized for me in a recent study of a fun little book I have been reading. It’s called Change is Good—You Go First. I shared a few thoughts from the book at our last State Board Meeting, and just wanted to share a few more with all of you that I think are so pertinent to our Network Leadership. The book’s authors call for each individual in an organization to adopt the following philosophy of personal accountability. I believe these principles can apply equally to any organization—whether it is a company, a family, an IEP team, or any level of our Network organizations. The philosophy is simply to remember these Most Important Words:

The 10 Most Important Words:
I won’t wait for others to take the first step.
The 9 Most Important Words:
If it is to be, it’s up to me.
The 8 Most Important Words:
If not me, who? If not now, when?
The 7 Most Important Words:
Let me take a shot at it.
The 6 Most Important Words:
I will not pass the buck.
The 5 Most Important Words:
You can count on me.
The 4 Most important Words:
It IS my job!
The 3 Most Important Words:
Just do it!
The 2 Most Important Words:
I will.
The Most Important Word:
ME

Did that last one surprise you? Every time I read it, or type it, it surprises me! This attitude seems so contrary to some of us who are used to taking a back row approach to life, and who are accustomed to putting other people first. Remember, this is not a “service attitude” or a “personal accountability for how you treat others” model. It is about personal accountability for your actions and attitudes, which means other people’s actions and attitudes don’t really get to come into the equation. The interesting thing, however, is to watch how your actions and attitudes can affect those around you.

The benefits of adopting this “personal accountability attitude” include:

Having more control over our destiny
Becoming an active contributor rather than a passive observer
Having others look to us for leadership
Gaining a reputation as a problem solver
Enjoying the satisfaction that comes from getting things done…the power of positive doing
Experiencing less anger, frustration and helplessness, which leads to better physical health

When we take this proactive approach to some of our challenges and apply the personal accountability attitude, some remarkable changes can occur. Barriers that previously existed begin to dissolve. Teamwork that previously seemed impossible begins to happen. We feel a more positive energy toward our work, and others respond in kind. We will find solutions to problems the seemed insurmountable.

Good luck! Have a great week and let me know if you have success in applying the “personal accountability attitude to something in your life.



Success is not final, failure is not final:
It is the courage to continue that counts.
--Winston Churchill