Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Hats Off to Educators
Where did May go? Who am I kidding—where did the school year go? It seems like just last week I was dragging Elaine (literally) into her new school after a week of trying to get her there under her own steam. Following my best motherly instincts, and ignoring all the behavioral training I have paid good money to receive, I knew that once she got inside, she would see that it had a classroom just like every other school she had gone to in her entire life, and she would be fine. However, if I waited to find the right medication, social story, picture schedule, or token system that was going to convince her to walk through that strange set of doors for the first time, it was going to be at least Christmas before we won that battle. I was not waiting that long for her to go to sixth grade. For once, I was right. Once inside the doors, her instincts kicked in, and she was able to get to class, find her familiar routines, and was soon riding her new bus with her new friends. Ha! Mom instinct wins again! However, I recognize fully that the magic of getting her on the bus is only part of the story. The other half of the story is all the magic that happened during the day to keep her willing and happy to go back day after day. My hat goes off to her patient, kind, longsuffering, creative, let’s-see-what-I-can-pull-out-of-my-hat-today teachers and aides.
Now I must give credit to someone else having better instincts than I when it comes to my son. I would have placed with him a teacher with whom I felt comfortable, but in living the chaos of my life, I missed the deadline to request a specific teacher for him. I went to the principal and tried to plead my case. He has a health issue, he missed 42 days of school the previous year, in part I felt because of a less than dedicated teacher who did not seem to grasp the tender needs of my son. The principal had already made a placement decision, and encouraged me to let it stand. I cried in front of the principal—something I rarely do! I did not know the teacher with whom he had chosen to place my son and I worried—more than a little. I put on a brave face, put a positive spin on it for my son and went to Back to School Night. All fear left me. Here was the school’s best kept secret of a teacher. The principal knew my son, looked at more than his health issues, and matched him with a teacher who would teach to his strengths, and who would engage him in learning so that he would want to attend school more than he would want to stay home on those days when he felt “borderline.” Genius! Hmmmm…Why didn’t I think of that?
I got home from a trip last week, and my son had just gotten home from his last day of school. I ask him how he felt about school being out for the year, and he said, “Kind of sad, actually.” Same health issues this year, days of school missed because of it? We didn’t count—it wasn’t an issue. He’s happy enough to be home for the summer, but he is going to miss his teacher, who he now feels is one of his best friends. We cleaned out his backpack and chose the papers he wanted to save. I found his Fourth Grade Penmanship notebook. To practice writing skills, his teacher didn’t just have the students write letters of the alphabet in print and cursive letters. Instead, he had them write beautiful, inspiring quotes, first in print, then in cursive. My eyes filled with tears as I read through his notebook and realized what my son would have missed if I had prevailed and insisted on a different teacher for him. Most of those quotes my son now has committed to memory, and just as important are the words of encouragement and positive reinforcement I saw written on every assignment and test, on every report card, on every SEP review. He has those committed to memory as well. Mr. Wilcken, we will not forget you. You educated not only a fourth grader, but his mother as well. Mr. Wilcken is leaving Utah to further his education and to teach in another state. It is our loss, but their gain.
I have teachers who have inspired me, mentored me, and influenced my life. I’m grateful to them. I find myself profoundly more grateful when my children have good teachers who are making a difference with them. There are teachers, and then there are educators…those who live their professions, and don’t just do their jobs. My hat goes off to all of you who make that kind of difference in the lives you lead each day.
Quotes From Austin’s Fourth Grade Penmanship Notebook:
A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions. –Anonymous
Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you; not because they are nice, but because you are. –Unknown
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. –Bill Cosby
To feel valued, to know, even if only once in a while, that you can do a job well is an absolutely marvelous feeling. –Barbara Walters
To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe. –Marilyn von Savant
What you are doing every day should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn’t, why are you doing it? –Don Hutcheson
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. –Mark Twain
The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and given a test. In life, you’re given a test which then teaches you a lesson. –Tom Bodett
I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to somebody’s pain made me blind; but I never have felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind. –Unknown
Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all. –Aristotle
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. –William Jennings
Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it. –Richard Whatley
Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.
–Maria Montessori
The heights of great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept were toiling upward in the night. –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Now I must give credit to someone else having better instincts than I when it comes to my son. I would have placed with him a teacher with whom I felt comfortable, but in living the chaos of my life, I missed the deadline to request a specific teacher for him. I went to the principal and tried to plead my case. He has a health issue, he missed 42 days of school the previous year, in part I felt because of a less than dedicated teacher who did not seem to grasp the tender needs of my son. The principal had already made a placement decision, and encouraged me to let it stand. I cried in front of the principal—something I rarely do! I did not know the teacher with whom he had chosen to place my son and I worried—more than a little. I put on a brave face, put a positive spin on it for my son and went to Back to School Night. All fear left me. Here was the school’s best kept secret of a teacher. The principal knew my son, looked at more than his health issues, and matched him with a teacher who would teach to his strengths, and who would engage him in learning so that he would want to attend school more than he would want to stay home on those days when he felt “borderline.” Genius! Hmmmm…Why didn’t I think of that?
I got home from a trip last week, and my son had just gotten home from his last day of school. I ask him how he felt about school being out for the year, and he said, “Kind of sad, actually.” Same health issues this year, days of school missed because of it? We didn’t count—it wasn’t an issue. He’s happy enough to be home for the summer, but he is going to miss his teacher, who he now feels is one of his best friends. We cleaned out his backpack and chose the papers he wanted to save. I found his Fourth Grade Penmanship notebook. To practice writing skills, his teacher didn’t just have the students write letters of the alphabet in print and cursive letters. Instead, he had them write beautiful, inspiring quotes, first in print, then in cursive. My eyes filled with tears as I read through his notebook and realized what my son would have missed if I had prevailed and insisted on a different teacher for him. Most of those quotes my son now has committed to memory, and just as important are the words of encouragement and positive reinforcement I saw written on every assignment and test, on every report card, on every SEP review. He has those committed to memory as well. Mr. Wilcken, we will not forget you. You educated not only a fourth grader, but his mother as well. Mr. Wilcken is leaving Utah to further his education and to teach in another state. It is our loss, but their gain.
I have teachers who have inspired me, mentored me, and influenced my life. I’m grateful to them. I find myself profoundly more grateful when my children have good teachers who are making a difference with them. There are teachers, and then there are educators…those who live their professions, and don’t just do their jobs. My hat goes off to all of you who make that kind of difference in the lives you lead each day.
Quotes From Austin’s Fourth Grade Penmanship Notebook:
A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimensions. –Anonymous
Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you; not because they are nice, but because you are. –Unknown
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. –Bill Cosby
To feel valued, to know, even if only once in a while, that you can do a job well is an absolutely marvelous feeling. –Barbara Walters
To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe. –Marilyn von Savant
What you are doing every day should contribute to giving your life meaning. If it doesn’t, why are you doing it? –Don Hutcheson
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. –Mark Twain
The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and given a test. In life, you’re given a test which then teaches you a lesson. –Tom Bodett
I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to somebody’s pain made me blind; but I never have felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind. –Unknown
Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all. –Aristotle
Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. –William Jennings
Lose an hour in the morning and you will spend all day looking for it. –Richard Whatley
Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.
–Maria Montessori
The heights of great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight, but they while their companions slept were toiling upward in the night. –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Saturday, May 24, 2008
BE KIND
It is so easy to be kind when our lives are calm, we are well, our children are happy, our work is going well, and we feel good about ourselves. It is easy to be kind when people are kind to us first. The challenge is to be kind when tempers are wearing thin, when children are grumpy or ill, when headaches rage, when pressures are building at home or work, when dinner is burning (or non-existent), and when money is scarce.
Kindness is an attribute that grows from other basic traits: patience, warmth, generosity, love. And to “be” kind takes action, it takes effort, it takes work. What difference does kindness make in a life? What difference does it make in yours?
Leo Buscaglia said: “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind work, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring: all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Recently, I read a magazine article discussing how to avoid conflict. Since I really dislike conflict, I was highly interested in the topic! The author said that we should all remember the BIBS theory in dealing with other people and here is the story that illustrates this theory:
Imagine that you are trying to get to an important meeting and you are running late. You stop behind another car at a red light. You are waiting impatiently for the light to change, but when it does, the driver in the car in front of you doesn’t move. In fact, she gets outs of her car, opens the back door of her car and starts rooting around in the back seat. Of course, you miss the light.
How do you respond? Do you roll down your window and yell at the driver? Do you honk your horn impatiently? Do you just sit and curse quietly under breath and call her names?
What if you knew the reason for her actions? What if you knew that the reason she got out of her car and opened her back door was that her baby in the back seat was choking and she was clearing her airway so she could breathe? The acronym BIBS stands for “Baby In the Back Seat,” and the illustration is that everyone has something unknown happening in their lives that drives their actions. We don’t always know why people say and do the things they do, and since we don’t, it is important for us to respond with patience and kindness, giving them the benefit of the doubt that there is a reason behind what is happening.
In thinking about being kind, I also want to mention the importance of being kind to ourselves. We are sometimes harder on ourselves than anyone else, and while we will forgive others for huge indiscretions, find it difficult to forgive ourselves for the smallest mistakes. So while you are taking time, doing good deeds, saying kind things, giving the benefit of the doubt, and finding forgiveness, don’t leave yourself out of the loop!
LuWenn
"I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to somebody's pain made me blind; but I never have yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind."
Kindness is an attribute that grows from other basic traits: patience, warmth, generosity, love. And to “be” kind takes action, it takes effort, it takes work. What difference does kindness make in a life? What difference does it make in yours?
Leo Buscaglia said: “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind work, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring: all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
Recently, I read a magazine article discussing how to avoid conflict. Since I really dislike conflict, I was highly interested in the topic! The author said that we should all remember the BIBS theory in dealing with other people and here is the story that illustrates this theory:
Imagine that you are trying to get to an important meeting and you are running late. You stop behind another car at a red light. You are waiting impatiently for the light to change, but when it does, the driver in the car in front of you doesn’t move. In fact, she gets outs of her car, opens the back door of her car and starts rooting around in the back seat. Of course, you miss the light.
How do you respond? Do you roll down your window and yell at the driver? Do you honk your horn impatiently? Do you just sit and curse quietly under breath and call her names?
What if you knew the reason for her actions? What if you knew that the reason she got out of her car and opened her back door was that her baby in the back seat was choking and she was clearing her airway so she could breathe? The acronym BIBS stands for “Baby In the Back Seat,” and the illustration is that everyone has something unknown happening in their lives that drives their actions. We don’t always know why people say and do the things they do, and since we don’t, it is important for us to respond with patience and kindness, giving them the benefit of the doubt that there is a reason behind what is happening.
In thinking about being kind, I also want to mention the importance of being kind to ourselves. We are sometimes harder on ourselves than anyone else, and while we will forgive others for huge indiscretions, find it difficult to forgive ourselves for the smallest mistakes. So while you are taking time, doing good deeds, saying kind things, giving the benefit of the doubt, and finding forgiveness, don’t leave yourself out of the loop!
LuWenn
"I have wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to somebody's pain made me blind; but I never have yet felt a tinge of regret for being a little too kind."
Sunday, May 4, 2008
What Is An AutisMom?
Once there was a little girl.
She dreamed of all the things that she could be.
First she wanted to be a nurse...
She would care for the sick with gentleness, patience, and love.
Then she wanted to be a teacher...
She would teach children and help them have the best chance for success.
In high school, she thought that being a religious leader would allow her to provide comfort, care, and spiritual sustenance.
A little older, and she wanted to be a lawyer...
She would defend the poor and defenseless.
Finally, she wanted to be a doctor...
She would unravel all the mysteries of what made people sick and how to cure them.
Eventually this girl grew up and got married and she became a mom.
Two of her children flourished, and learned with ease, their future was bright, and she was delighted. But one of her children was different, she seemed locked her in her own little world, her abilities seemed to change, and she seemed ill. This mom's child was diagnosed with autism. Such a frightening, vast, overwhelming label for such a small, beautiful child.
The mom was scared, so she asked the angels, "Who can help my child?"
And the angels said, "You can help her. You will be everything that you always wanted to be."
"But angels," said the mom, "I am scared that my child will not be all the I'd hoped she could be."
"She may not be everything you hope for right now," replied the angels, "but she is all of the things that you can help her become."
--Adapted from an anonymous poem
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